Mistakes happen. They always do. No matter how prepared, experienced, or careful we are, things don’t always go as planned. The difference between leaders who thrive and those who struggle often comes down to emotional intelligence—specifically, how we manage our emotions when things go wrong.

One powerful mindset shift is this: Mistakes are part of the process.

This perspective helps us:

Manage expectations – We accept that mistakes are inevitable rather than a sign of failure.

Reframe setbacks – Instead of seeing a mistake as a dead end, we view it as an opportunity to learn and adjust.

A Personal Lesson in Managing Mistakes

A recent experience reminded me of the importance of setting clear expectations and honoring them.

I’ve been wanting to adopt a dog for a while. I had a clear set of criteria—an older, calmer dog that would fit my lifestyle. But when I met a younger dog who was absolutely wonderful in many ways, I convinced myself I could make it work. I brought him home, only to quickly realize he was much more than I could manage. With a heavy heart, I returned him to the shelter.

Was this a mistake? Initially, I felt like I had failed both myself and the dog. But upon reflection, I realized that the experience reinforced exactly why I set my criteria in the first place. It also reminded me of what’s involved in bringing a dog into my life—daily routines, walks, training, and adjustments to my schedule. Instead of dwelling on regret, I used the experience to refine my approach and move forward with greater clarity.

Practical Strategies for Managing Mistakes

When things go wrong, here’s how to manage your emotions effectively:

Pause and Breathe – Our initial reaction is often frustration, embarrassment, or disappointment. Taking a breath before reacting can prevent emotional spirals.

Reframe the Situation – Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Mistakes provide valuable insights that refine our decision-making.

Practice Self-Compassion – Leaders with high emotional intelligence don’t beat themselves up over missteps. Instead, they acknowledge mistakes with self-kindness and move forward.

Adjust and Try Again – Every setback is a step toward improvement. Mistakes shape better strategies, stronger leadership, and greater resilience.

The key is not to avoid mistakes, but to manage our response to them. By embracing setbacks as part of growth, we build resilience, emotional agility, and stronger leadership.

What’s a time when a mistake helped you grow?

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